Honesty is the best policy

I have been so overwhelmed with so much stuff to do that I haven't written for ages! Sometimes, you just have those periods where you get so caught up in everything that you forget the things that are really important to you. Simple things, like eating well and remembering to smile! Everyday when I have been walking to work, I have been noticing that the sun is shining ever so slightly more, the days are getting a bit longer and flowers are starting to bloom, spring-style! The more I was honest with myself, the more I noticed these small bits of beauty ... making me feel more inspired and comfortable with myself.

I have however, started to work into some paintings that I did a couple of years ago with colour and stretched some new canvases. Maybe it was getting caught up that helped me? The writing//painting balance is never at an equilibrium and more like a pendulum swinging one way to the next. At the moment, it's at the painting end and I'm quite excited about it ... so hopefully there'll be some images to follow ...

Wham!

Sometimes, things hit you, without the slightest bit of warning. There you are, minding your own business and then: WHAM! Whatever it is makes a remarkable impression on you; stopping you in your tracks. On Tuesday, whilst I was in Birmingham doing some PhD research before attending an evening lecture by Elspeth Kidd on Queer Theory, I decided, purely by instinct to visit the Waterhall Gallery, part of BMAG to see what was on. Part of me didn't want to; I remember checking out on the internet what was on in Birmingham and nothing in particular sticking out as something I must see. Yet, I was compelled to wander in. At first, I thought ... oh, it's only a Bridget Riley exhibition, nothing particularly special, but I'll have a wander around anyway ... and there it was:

" You cannot deal with thought directly outside of practice as a painter, doing is essential in order to find out what form your thought takes"

A quote, totally out of the blue, that made an unmistakable impression on me. Her quote made me think of the process of painting and the complex dialogue between doing and thinking and then reflecting and re-reflecting; a continuous cycle that is often so hard to articulate whilst in the midst of making/painting. She also describes the process of painting as including 'colour events' where she organises certain colours and their physical relation to each other on the canvas to create 'colour reactions' that trigger sudden bursts of colour and different experiences for the viewer. The more I thought about it, the more I admired her - a nearly 80 year old female abstract painter, who had iconic status in twentieth century Modern Abstract painting.

I was mostly struck by her piece 'Red on Red' (2007) and the colours and composition. Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to take pictures in the gallery itself and even with the greatest stealth and avoidance of invigilators I've had to photograph the exhibition catalogue. The work itself is huge and its presence seems to overwhelm the viewer. The piece is technical and precise, and the process that it used to make it reflects this; being tested on graph paper or coloured shapes of paper that are moved around to 'test' the composition.

I've actually had a really productive week this week : ) Ive also found a video of my textstallation piece but I'm not really sure how to put it on here so I'm working on it ... At the moment, Ive been doing loads of reading about l’écriture féminine which is kind of framework for my research.

I started off researching it in depth and then linking everything to it to create my literature review etc, but Ive decided to start to re-delve back into it to see what connections (and re-connections) I can find. Although a vague plan of what I'm doing, I really wanted to let everything emerge and evolve quite organically, cyclically and relationally.

I also went to the private view of show \"home\" at the Air Space Gallery in Stoke-on-Trent which my PIC Rachel Marsden has curated. The exhibition is on until the 27th March and definately well worth visiting! It

is an exhibition of artists of South Asian descent exploring self-identity, locality, foreignness and origin and includes an exciting mix of work including video and installation. In the exhibition catalogue, Bassam Huaan interestingly talks about how a sense of otherness does not necessarily just exist between different cultures but within a culture, exploring multiple identities.

I also just HAD to take a photo of these amazing mittens that were given to Rachel by Georgie Vinsun. They are beautiful (and are uber comfy as I am modelling them in the photo!). Whilst I was in Canada over Christmas I started to knit again ... although still limited to squares/rectangles, I learnt how how knit lace and also decrease/increase. My aim this year was to knit a cardi and seeing Georgie's fantaastic mittens has inpired me to do it sooner rather than later!

I was sent this really lovely collection of poems from my friend Georgina Barney for my engagement - it is so beautiful

and has poems from Shakepeare and other poets. This is taken from one of my favourites by Stevie Smith:

I like to laugh and be happy
With a beautiful beautiful kiss,
I tell you, in all the world
There is no bliss like this.

Also, just some nice news to finish off ... and in keeping with the theme of LOVE. Ive just found out that my lovely friend Shell has just got engaged!!! Massive congratulations to the future Mr and Mrs Nicholls! : )

Glittery lights and engagements ...

I feel so far with my PhD that Ive kind of been bumbling along, cruising at a steady 20mph with the odd bit of accelaration and an intense journey; indulging in various bouts of binge writing. At the moment, that binge writing is in process ... I can't put the pen down and all I'm thinking about is writing, writing, writing! I'm still waiting to hear back about my PhD registration for my research - writing//painting; l’écriture féminine and difference in the making. The registration is the actual process where the research has to be registered with the academic research panel at the university so I still have my fingers (and toes) crossed!

I went on a trip, last week with the Art Foundation students at College, to Manchester for the day (I love going on college trips). I had a quick peek at the last exhibition at the URBIS and at a smaller gallery called the 'Cube' and then visited my sister Corinne at Manchester Met Uni who is in her third year of the BA (hons) Embroidery degree : ) I have only seen Corinne's work when she was on her Foundation course and was really looking forward to seeing her uni work! She's been working on drawings and paper-based/sketchbook work looking at illustration in children's books that have a slightly darker element to them such as Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel before starting to create embroidery into them. Check them out! They are beautiful when you see them in person.

 

 

I also saw some really interesting work by other students when I was walking through the stuidios that explored text and made me think about the materiality of text itself and how it can become sculptural ... I know after the textstallation I did at BIAD, I have to visually push the boundaries of making that explores the interconnections of writing and painting.

I treated myself to a ride on the big wheel there as well and it was really nice to sit back and watch the busy city life underneath me. As I was wondering back to the coach, I also had a look at the cathedral. I absolutely love really old churches and I think the detail in them is so beautiful, but what struck me about the Manchester Cathedral was the brightness of the colours in the stained-glass windows and the scale of them when it was so grey outside.

Also this week Ive received an amazing proposal ... usually I would probably be writing about news of an exhibition or writing proposal, however this one is even more amazing. It was totally unexpected and particularly emotional as it was a down on one knee and will you marry me proposal! And for those of you who are wondering, I said yes : )

The other is not just what we are not, but what we can be.

After resigning to the fact that I had to pack up and finally leave Canada after an amazing Christmas and New Year and go back to England, I ended up being stormstayed for an extra week as all flights were grounded in Newfoundland due to bad weather! After a couple of days of living out of a tightly packed suitcase and waiting for 'the call' for an extra flight, I thought to myself "Sod it! I'm going to damn well enjoy the rest of my stay!" and out came the clothes from the suitcase again! It totally made me reconsider 'adverse weather conditions' in England when we had to spend the next couple of days with 100kph winds and -17c snow blizzards!! I could only stay outside for five minutes when I took the first two photos as it was soooo cold!

We saw a totally different perspective of Newfoundland; when the mountains, beaches and everything else was transformed under layers and layers of white snow and the crazy cloudy skies. In my extra week there, I had some more time to think. Now, for those who know me well, extra time to think is not necessarily a good thing, but I had some interesting thoughts and discussions about my research (and life in general but we'll save that for a rainy day - or two) ... mainly about the idea of alternative spaces, the inbetween and ideas of the masculine/feminine/other. That they all have to exist to provide boundaries for the other to exist by that these boundaries have shifted and been blurred by the sociological and cultural shift ... therefore, where are the alternative spaces that I am trying to negotiate and what happens to the construct of gender when they are negotiated? Hmmm ... I also decided that one of the things I was going to do in 2010 was to learn French as my research relates a lot to French conepts and the translation of French ideas, so I will hopefully be able to say more than Bonjour, oeufs and Je m'appelle Jacqueline!

Ive been back now for a few weeks, a stone lighter : ) still relaxed-ish and finally getting back on it ... back to college and teaching again and cracking on with my PhD. Ive just handed in a PGCE assignment as well which I'm still traumatised from and which I've now decided is an acronym for Painfully Grim Coerced Encounter. I did start looking at a wicked art-practice-as-research book whilst I was doing it by Graeme Sullivan (its well worth getting it) and started to think about methodologies and mapping again. I have a plan but I'm not going to say anything until it has (hopefully) started to develop.

I have also finally completed my 9r registration to research which is now with the research panel at BIAD. Yey! Now Ive done all the official things you have to do ... I can get ON IT and start working on the next chapter of the research ... literally, as Ive started to write up (AAAAARGH! scary!) and analyse the textstallation that I did a couple of months ago.

Anyhoo, before I go, check out this amazing blog the big smash which has loads of amazing work by my ace brother Laurence, it rocks! I have three of his pieces of work in my house and they make me smile so much when I look at them : )

Canada Christmas and Alice in Wonderland

After travelling for nearly 24 hours, stopping off in Halifax in Nova Scotia on the way and consuming as many free airline beverages as I possibly could ... I arrived in Channel-Port aux Basques in Newfoundland, Canada with my partner where I have been spending the Christmas and New Year period. We are lucky enough to be staying with two amazing and hospitable people; Peter and Mary Ann Boote : )

It is absolutely beautiful here and so so peaceful. There has been unusually clear skies since we came ... when the sun is setting at the end of the day it glows in the sky and reflects and glistens off the water in the bay we can see out of the window. The weather changes so quickly, all of a sudden the fog from the behind the mountains is blown into the bay and everything is covered in a white mist ... and as quickly as it appears it seems to disappear! As we are staying on an island, there are beaches and rocky coastlines all around us, shadowed by mountains and snow capped peaks.

We are having an absolutely fantastic time here. I begin to feel replenished and my mind is finally clear from the art/PhD/teaching interconnected gooey blah that it seems to have been! As I have relaxed and reflected, I've started to gradually become more at peace with who I am and even started to knit and play the flute again! Its amazing how your creativity can be re-energised from being relaxed and changing your perspective and appreciating things.

A couple of days before Christmas we drove out to find a Christmas tree! We literally drove out for a bit past the small towns and were totally surrounded with pine trees and tuckamore, a type of terrain that covers the rocky land. The tuckamore is so so weird and strange; being cushiony to walk on and lie on

and start to sink into and also intertwined with pine trees that have been weathered so much by the strong winds here that they are the same height as the mossy covered rocks in other areas and if you walk in the wrong place, you find yourself knee deep in pine trees! You can sometimes find areas that you can crawl through and find there is a whole other world beneath the surface!! It made me feel as though I was Alice in Wonderland!

Christmas day was absolutely perfect and I was so so lucky to receive a beautiful scarf in the most fantastic shade of purple I have ever seen and an absolutely AMAZING pair of slippers that had been hand-knitted for me by Mary Ann! This lady rocks I tell you! It was such a peaceful day filled with discussions about art, life, theology and philosophy and we helped each other to make a really really fab Christmas Day meal ...

 ... an eclectic ethnic fusion of Jewish, Greek, Indian and other foods from around the world! My mouth is starting to water as I'm starting to recall it --> veggietastic baba ghanoush, greek salad, a butterbean and tomato and onion salad, falafel and hoummus made from scratch, pinto bean salsa, lentil patties with curry sauce ... I'm sure there's more!

I'm now really looking forward to the new year and my new perspective on things ...

Another place ...

My research is developing and now ready to be submitted to the research panel for registration ... scary! It feels like such a burden has been removed though and I can now concentrate on getting stuck in with my research and writing : )  I'm starting to develop the mapping strategies I used in the textstallation thematically and trying to allow them to evolve as more of an object in a large sketchbook, which will hopefully itself develop physically like my research diary and installations.

As I won't be in England for Christmas this year, I spent the weekend at my parents having a Taylor Christmas! I've had such an amazing time and am finally starting to relax and get on top of things ... We went to the Widnes Cemetry where we went to see my grandparent's grave. I've only been once after the actual funeral aso it was pretty emotional. It was a really nice day as the sun was shining strongly, despite the chilly air and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Someone had also recently put down fresh flowers and a christmas wreath.

I also found out a lot about my family - that my greatgrandparents George and Ellen Taylor were buried in the same cemmetry and my other greatgrandparents (the Ryans) on my dad's side were Irish immigrants who came to Ireland and settled in the Liverpool docks but were unfortunately killed in the war. It really made me appreciate what my family had been through 60 odd years ago so much and was quite emotional. We also visited Crosby Beach, home of Anthony Gormly's 'Another Place' at low tide when the sun was starting to set.

It was really nice to see the sculptures whilst the sun was setting and the sky so clear as the shadows that they cast were really beautiful and moved as the sun got lower. As the tide was at its lowest we could walk out to see the figures that would usually be submerged most of the time and they were covered with barnacles and other things that had used the figure as a home. Visiting them was also an opportunity for me to wear my pink sparkly wellies : )

After having my first christmas dinner and present opening, I also saw some of my parent's photos from their recent travels in Argentina, Uruguay and Chille ... I'm very jealous!! We settled down with mulled wine and homemade mince pies to watch my first Film Noir Double Indemnity as well which was fantastic.

My blog title seems to refer to a few things; obviously Gormley's work but also that I will physically be in another place over Christmas and New Year and the heritage of my family and I guess my head as well! It is last week of college this week and I'm really looking foward to a break, especially after endless ammending of UCAS statements and (70+) essay plans to look through!

Anonymous Santas and finally being productive ...

What a strange week or so it has been! It didn't start off too well when I was 'temporarily suspended' from the BIAD library for forgetting to return a Derrida book (for quite a while ...). Bad times! On my journey to attend the PhD reading group, I hadn't realised that my railcard had expired and was 'detained' as the two burly security staff explained to me and made to pay another fine : (  Needless to say I burst out crying and then headed straight to buy a chocolate muffin and a hot chocolate to calm me down!

I have been feeling particularly christmassy however, especially after this little chap anonymously appeared in my pigeon hole at College ...

It totally made my day by the kind festive gesture by the unknown person. Whoever you are ... thank you : )

I finally decided to stop procrastinating and complete my 9r in time for my tutorial on Tuesday and feel so much better now its nearly done! Its strange sometimes how a bit of pressure and urgency such as an upcoming tutorial can suddenly influence productivity! My supervisor and I have have decided to submit it to the university research panel, so fingers crossed that it will be okay and hopefully soon I'll be registered!

I had some really positive feedback as well about my textstallation and realised it has provided a sort of framework to work from and develop the research after the 9r will be submitted. I am hoping to writing up the first part for after Christmas, so fingers crossed ...

I visited the German Christmas Market in Birmingham as I have done for the past couple of years and although I realise that they are commercial and westernised and not being tempted to buy anything, I was compelled to take photographs as it looked so beautiful at night and the lights seemed to have a kind of peaceful and mesmerising quality about them.

My christmas shopping is nearly done and cards nearly made (I cheated and bought a lot of them though!)and the end of term is appearing fast so I'm now looking forward to going away over Christmas and New Year! 2010 feels like it will be a good year ...